Oct 30, 2006
Wow..it has been a long time since I have gotten on here. I was just so happening looking through my old emails and saw that I forgot about this blog thing. I alot of things happened to me since I guess the last entry which was like the end of "03" I have a lot of catching up to do with everyone on here. Who knows ppl probably forgot about me within a few months. I am back so get ready.
Posted at 04:06 pm by toxicwaste
May 7, 2004
Well in all my years I never thought that it would happen again. I was suppose to get a car this year for graduation and now I can't because I'm in this situation. I think thats its not fair for them to take away the one thing that I wanted ever since I was 15 yrs. old. Well I guess life goes on and that I will manage to earn money to get it.
Posted at 01:09 pm by toxicwaste
Feb 3, 2004
one thing I hate is ppl always talking shit about something that I like. Like I said before this page that I have is not for anyones enjoyment its just something that lets me blow off steam sometimes. If it amuses you fine I have no problem with that....if you don't like something you don't have to be rude about it just don't say anything to me about it. I don't care if you like it or not. If someone left something rude on your page you would not like it. But there is something that I learned don't get mad...just get them back twice as hard!!!
Posted at 01:44 pm by toxicwaste
Jan 23, 2004
Posted at 06:29 pm by toxicwaste
Hey again....Right at this very moment I fell so angry at myself.....I had a rough day today. First my stupid ass dog this morning was all tangled up and I had to untie him just to get him free. I swear sometimes he does it on purpose just to get attention.....My mom was being an ass because she wouldn't even call up to my school to let me check out early and she was making a big fuss asking me why and all that shit knowing that I do this every year!! My bus driver was being a bitch and fussing talking about I need to be out there a little earlier..if I wasn't arguing with my mom I could of been outside with my little sister and my cousin waiting for the bus....and it wasn't like she was about to pull off or anything..I was a few seconds behind them before they got on the bus I mean really!!! So you can see I had a shity day....now I'm thinking about the baby I could of had and that is really bothering me. I mean two ppl who love each other and care for each other tried and tried to have one and when I finally get pregnant...I lose the child. I feel like a failure :( It seems like it doesn't take effort for everyone eles to get that way...I mean an egg and some sperm and there you go a baby!! But as for me it took me 3 fucking years to get where they are at and when I do Poof its gone quicker than you can say I'm pregnant. I wish that I didn't tell anyone the first time because then you have to tell them the bad news and they are probably saying that you lied because you were prg. one minute and not the next. I need to stop bitching and get a life right? But who can say you really have a life when you feel like you don't have one?!
Posted at 06:07 pm by toxicwaste
Jan 22, 2004
Today at school we found out our scores on the SOL's we had to take. Damn thoughs SOL's!! Well there weren't really scores just plus and minuses signs so I guess we will find out our numeric scores later on. I'm so glad that I don't have to take an exam in my classes. And three of my classes are open book...sweet right? I know!! :) Here are the classes I am taking Government...a real drag but can be fun at times......Geometry pt.2....boring as hell...Latin.....werid huh...but kinda interesting and all.....and Drama.....yes you guessed it I'm a drama queen...yea right!!! This is my second time being in drama my whole life....once in Middle School and another here at High school. Its pretty cool wish I would have taken it when I came here in the 9th grade. Well I have nothing to say really just jotting down some thoughts..... I have to work this weekend.....I need another to work the weekdays....planning on moving with boyfriend after I graduate and all. I can't wait!! Well I guess I will update again soon bye.
Posted at 12:45 pm by toxicwaste
Jan 21, 2004
Here's one of the bands I like!!
Posted at 12:58 pm by toxicwaste
Hi again all you pretty ppl out there. This is my second entry as you know,but I have some interesting stuff to share with you if you must all know. Well I'm 17 and in high school as you probably figured out....well anyway back in December I was pregnant!! Big shocker right?? Well I always wanted a baby ever since I was 12 years old not just to have one but for someone to love me no matter what I look like, someone I can give long life lessons to and to share my love with the person that gave me this child and the child its self. I didn't start trying until I was 15 years old nothing happened...as time went on I met a new guy(CURRENTLY me and him were together yesterday for a 1yr. and 2mos.) About after a 5 month relationship and sex life that we always used protection!! We decided that we wanted to have a child together I was pretty excited because I love him very dearly and this was a big step in my life and his. Well we tried and tried and nothing happened until in December!! I was shocked because I gave up hope because I THOUGHT well I have been trying for so long and praying that I guess God doesn't want me to have one. Well God blessed us..or should I say for a little while. I was 4 to 5 wks. pregnant when I had a miscarriage. I was so upset and angry at myself I felt like it was my fault that I lost the child!! My bf told me that maybe it wasn't the right time or maybe something might have been wrong with the baby and your body knew it and it got rid of it. I did some research on the computer and it told me that almost 50 to 70% of women that get prg. for the first time usually ends up in a miscarriage because either the baby recieved too many chromsomes or it didn't implant right in the uterus. This made me feel a little better but it still hurts. Everyday I try to not think about it but it's kind of werid because two ppl I know are prg. and they are showing and everything and it makes me want to be like that too and just knowing I was carrying something inside of me that died. I came to realize that God gives us what we can handle but maybe this is a sign that maybe I'm here for something eles besides being a mother and when my time comes he will bless me with a second child that will be more loving and caring maybe than the one before. I guess I will end this since it is getting long I will write again soon.
Posted at 12:30 pm by toxicwaste
Jan 20, 2004
This my first time writing something like this and making it public for everyone to see I would put my real name and what school I go to but someone might stumble across this and I don't want them to know who wrote all this stuff. I would like to warn everyone that if this gets a little too in detail about things or you don't agree please feel free to go to another page or read something eles because this is for my entertainment..maybe someone eles but I'm just express the way I feel and my thoughts on everything so I hope that you enjoy!
Posted at 01:14 pm by toxicwaste